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About Me Premium Member Self-proclaimed Genius nzMale/Unknown Recent Activity Deviant for 7 Years
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:: 3:59 p.m.::

Sat Mar 22, 2003, 1:58 PM
"I write you.

I write you, and explain.

Confide. Confess.

I write you. And tell you.

Tell myself.

Just how crazy I've become.

I write you, and tell you. What I won't tell anyone else.

What I hide. By keeping no secrets. It can't all be true.

For advice. (For what?) Will they take away, all my things? Like the contract says?

What do I own, again? There's a Hello Kitty toaster. Pink.

Things. I own things.

Things. It's the little things that get you. Hair too long. A complexion that shows the worry.

Clothes not quite clean.

Little things, like shame, in even a look returned. Hurtful just to make eye contact. To see what I've become, reflected in eyes that I can't quite distract. With all the words. However clever. However many.

Can't cover myself in words. No longer.

No longer being asked. For change on the corner. Smiles returned. From people I never really looked at, before.

Am I waving at them? Why are they waving at me? Who are they waving at? What do they see?

The smile. Can't possibly hide everything. Can't possibly make people not see. This.

Me.

Ashamed to be me. Ashamed to be clinging to the words that say it's all going to be alright.

Ashamed to believe myself, to believe in things. That feel so hollow.

I write you, and tell you.

Write and tell. I know this. This I know.

But I don't know. What I'm trying to say.

Or who I'm saying it to.

I don't know. Who I am, to you.

Don't know. Who I am. Anymore.

With no you, to tell me.

Even if it's what I'm sure I'm not.

I'm not sure.

I don't know.

I can't remember.

I remember you. Do you remember me?

I'm not him, anymore. I'm pretty sure.

You don't owe me anything.

And I don't have anything to give.

Except a smile. That I give to you, only for me.

And words.

More burden than gift.

I won't.

I can't.

I don't know why."

-Carl Steadman (www.freedonia.com)

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Comments


:iconplornt:
Dead account, dead account.
:iconrunescapeandmaple:
a suscriber dead account? oh my!

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Please :+devwatch: me. So you can keep up with my updates!

Runescape and maple story are boring cause I dont like them anymore

:steaming::-X:thanks::nirvana::blush::w00t!::dead::bucktooth: :excited::crazy::ignore::disbelief::tunes::depressed:
:iconrunescapeandmaple:
what a waste of money! why doesnt this person donate a suscription to me?? oh why?

--
Please :+devwatch: me. So you can keep up with my updates!

Runescape and maple story are boring cause I dont like them anymore

:steaming::-X:thanks::nirvana::blush::w00t!::dead::bucktooth: :excited::crazy::ignore::disbelief::tunes::depressed:
:icontefernini:
i love your icon :heart: thom and radiohead are wonderful.
(and it might seem sort of strange i can recognize that particular pic, but my sister loved that photograph and had it as the background on the computer and whatnot for a while, so i know it.)

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"i hope you get where you're going, and be happy when you do." --on the road

:peace: tefernini

~rhfu ~coldplay-fans ~Rhead
:iconmexic0:
no quise leerlo en su totalidad. pero tu diario claramente demuestra su caracter cientifico, que debe de interesarte especialmente por tu condicion. en fin. la enfermedad ahi esta y va a seguir siendo perjudicial para un incontable numero de personas por algo de tiempo, desafortunadamente. cuidate. e intenta no hablar de tus problemas personales con tanta facilidad, no me conoces ni estoy relacionado contigo de ninguna manera. no quiero decirte que no me importa, porque podrias tomarme como alguien alejado de los problemas ajenos y peor aun, como alguien que no simpatiza ni se preocupa por los extraños, pero lo digo en el sentido de que no me incumbe. y parece ser que te aferras a tu estado para lograr crear en mi un sentimiento de cercania o falsa amistad a travez de problemas que nos conciernen a todos... en fin. no importa, ignora el comentario anterior si te parece que no tiene nada que ver con lo que llegaste a pensar, me da igual. a veces pienso de mas. y eso a ti no te imcumbe, y con esto podras darte cuenta de que no sigo al pie de la letra todo lo que digo. ja. en realidad solo queria mandarte un saludo por escribir en mi pagina, y decirte algo acerca de la diabetes y quiza desearte suerte o intentar decir algo ... agradable. ja. como resultan las cosas. ahora si, adios, e informate lo mas que puedas acerca de tu enfermedad o discapacidad o disfuncion, como quieras, ya que esa es la unica forma en la que podras ayudarte a ti mismo. -guillermo (nz)-------------------------------------------------------------------- ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ ------------------------------------------------------------------------ --------------------

Por favor k kieres!! nadie me dice k me agreges a tu puto dev+watch eres un pendejete aki nadamas no se porque pagas la subscripcion y aqui no se viene a joder aqui se viene a subir arte pages o no, seas un puto enfermo de lapra o de sida, diabetiko un sano vale verga aki lo que importa es tu arte y no si tienes una pute enfermedad mira tu basura aja esa la hago con paint por favor!!! c akabo!! ajaja!! mira tu hablando solo en tu pagina como no tienes a nadie que te escriba, ponte a razonar y no te pongas a hablar como si supieras todo del arte pendejin.. y lo que me pusiste de mensaje lo digo en 10 palabras, ponte a trabajar en lugar de estar pensando que escribirle a los demas, un consejo: mueve tu culo de donde estas y vete a cagar ah, pero si pujas y pujas y no puedes cagar, no te hagas pendejo y vete a trabajar ajaja
!!!



aver kien ve este mensaje.... ps nadie ajaja

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Hablas Español? :iconla-ch: Eres Mexicano? :iconmexicanos:
:iconmexic0:
oye mi journal lo saque de la ADA ( AMERICAN DIABETES ASSOCIATION ) para que lo vean, me han dicho que que bueno que lo puse por sus abuelos que son diabeticos, papas, etc.... es mas ahorita voy a ver un programa para diabeticos muy muy importante para reducir la necesidad de insulina, que es lo que me inyecto varias veces al dia desde los 12 anos ok? namas pa que te des una idea, conosco a un wey que tiene 23 anos y desde los 4 usa insulina namas checale todos los anos inyectandose chingos de veces al dia!!!

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Hablas Español? :iconla-ch:
Mexicano? :iconmexicanos:
:iconmexic0:
No le entendi a tu journal x q esta en ingles y no le entiendo ni madres al ingles jeje

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Hablas Español? :iconla-ch:
Mexicano? :iconmexicanos:

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